Materializing the Snuggie

Posted: July 18th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Brian | Tags: , , , , , , | No Comments »

You may have never heard of Wallingford, CT, but I grew up there and it’s a big deal. It’s the world headquarters of a mysterious cult called Snuggie, THE BLANKET WITH SLEEVES! In fact, it’s the gimmick merchandising capital of the world. Since I was a kid, I’ve seen so many infomercials that mention the name of my town- As seen on TV! It has always given me a sense of self-worth and hometown pride.

At first, Snuggie seems to be a media phenomenon and a fashion hit! But there’s a darker, seedier side to the Snuggie. All of the employees of the mysterious Snuggie Corp. must wear Snuggies- the management claims it is to save heating costs. They are shrouded in secrecy, and in Snuggies.

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I grew up on the corner of High Street and Wooding Road less than a mile from the Snuggie compound (top left corner of the map). The Snuggie website only lists a PO Box, but I called the customer service hotline to find out their street address. The customer service representative seemed friendly, but I could sense fear in her voice.

They want to exist as a placeless non-entity inside a windowless warehouse in Connecticut, but now they can’t hide. Please alert everyone you know that the secret is out, and do what is right.

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